2nd Star to the Right :: Neverland. I think I want to live there.

Everyone get up and do a happy dance! I just got back to my desk, with my to-do list growing longer and longer, including calling for tickets for Kathleen Madigan this week at the Laff Stop, buy and send Mel's wedding gift, make call-backs to Lisa at hotels.com, try and compile a mini-to-do list for all the cooleremail portal stuff, find Marsha to talk about a direct mail drop I need to coordinate, pull inventory numbers for the tri-fold to see if I can send some extras out to SF....the list goes on and on.

I also had six new voice mail messages, one of which, caused the happy dance! The Laff Stop called and said I won ten free tickets to see Kathleen Madigan Friday night! Hooray! Everyone get up and do your happy dance again!

I freakin' love this girl! I've seen her special on Comedy Central upteen times and have been waiting and waiting for her to come to town. And now she is. And I get to see her. For free!

Woohoo!

4:59 PM | allison | # |

I soooo didn't need this distraction today. I'm supposed to be working!

Ack! Online Battleship! The least I can do is spread the addictive fun.

1:51 PM | allison | # |

You know, I was just thinking about the changes in my life for some reason. Kind of an unusual time and place being at work and all, but it came to mind nonetheless. I remember how much I worried about paying for stuff right after I graduated. I was temping during the day and working as a night manager at one of the Pizza Hut's in Columbia and barely making ends meet. I lived from paycheck to paycheck. I only went to the movies in the afternoons when I could pay the matinee price, I had most of my meals at work because it was free and I had to save for gas money for trips home. But I did it, with a little help from mom and dad.

And now, two years later, I'm fully independent and on my own. Mom and dad don't pick up any of my expenses. I pay my own insurance, rent, utilities and credit card. I'm more than half-way done paying back my student loan. I have an apartment nearly 3 times the size of my digs in Columbia, I can go to the movies and pay full price and even treat myself to Sour Jacks and a drink. I still live from paycheck to paycheck sometimes, but it doesn't seem nearly as bad.

I guess I'm a little amazed at myself. And it feels pretty good.
Not bad for single and twenty-four.

11:57 AM | allison | # |

Do you think it's possible for someone's head to explode, due to an extremely powerful and unrelenting pounding and aching of the brain?

Ok. Good. Me either.

3:01 PM | allison | # |

Argh! Is it freakin' time to go home yet or what?! I think my clock is running more slowly than any other clock on the planet right now. I just wanna go home!

3:33 PM | allison | # |

Why is it that weeks were I don't work the full five days seem more exhausting than full work weeks? Maybe I'm trying to fit five days worth of work into only three days. Or in this case, two and a half. My department went downtown yesterday and caught a baseball game. Good fun was had by all.

I guess I should go ahead and do my Friday Five now and well, get to work. Sigh.

1. How long have you had a weblog? Well, my archives only say two months, but I'm fairly certain I've been writing almost daily since the middle of May 2002. I had a little troulbe with the whole archive thingy at first.

2. What was your first post about? I'm not entirely sure because the archive is gone, but I was probably bitching about something. Or someone.

3. How many changes (name, location, etc.) of your weblog have there been, if more than one? A big fat zero. This has always been, and probably will always remian, NeverNever Land.

4. What CMS (content management system) do you use? Do you like it or do you want to try something else? CMS? Um, Blogger? I'm obviously not savvy about all this "technical" stuff yet.

5. Do you read people who have both a journal and a weblog? Or do you prefer to read people who have all of their writing in one central place? I do both. I'm all for having all writing in one place, but that's only because I'm lazy.

One last thing before I get to work: I got an email this morning from my boss, which was a link from USA Today with the headline Pledge decision may be reversed. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that yet. I have a feeling that when the words "under God" were added, there wasn't any harm intended. And I also have a feeling that all this ruckus about the separation between church and state isn't really what our founding fathers had in mind when they were writing and putting together the foundation for our country.

Ok. I'm gonna work now.

8:32 AM | allison | # |

GROWL!! I'm gonna have to kick someone soon. Hard. I got to work this morning and had two voicemails - one of my co-workers has a "migraine" and won't be into work this morning. But she will be in by noon so she's here in time to go to the baseball game with us this afternoon. GROWL! No work, no play, right?

Man, this really steams me. She's missed more work this year than anyone I've ever known. Maybe she does have bad headaches and migraines, but there are a ton of folks here at work who do too, but they take their medicine, suck it up and come in to work. Especially on days where we all get the afternoon off to go to a baseball game.

Ok. I'm done ranting now. But I'm still pissed.

8:29 AM | allison | # |

I'm almost ashamed to admit that I went to Mizzou when I see stuff like this. It's a great school, but a corn maze?

Yikes.

5:58 PM | allison | # |

There's a really funny smell floating through the air right now at work. I can't figure out what it is or where it's coming from, but it's kinda sweet and reminds of what I always thought chloroform would smell like.

Gasp! Maybe they're trying to knock me out so I don't have to finish my work today!

I should be so lucky.

3:03 PM | allison | # |

I'm back. And exhausted. Whew. What a weekend.

My mom's birthday was Saturday and for the event, the fam decided to try our hands at white water rafting. My knees are killing me, I'm sunburned and I have a million short-bus jokes running throught my head. It was awesome.

My knees hurt because despite the warnings, it was the only way I could effectively paddle when we went through the rapids. And go through the rapids we did. The river's overall water level was down, but the rapids were still pretty exciting. My brother and I shared a raft and finally figured out the rapids by the last waterfall. But it was well worth it. The sunburn is my own fault, so I can't really complain. And the short bus jokes are my own fault as well. But still ridiculously funny.

We stayed in Keshena, which is a small town on the Menominee Indian Reservation in Wisconsin. It's incredibly beautiful. It reminded me a lot of the area my family used to visit every summer in northern Minnesota, at the end of the GunFlint Trail. The hotel we stayed at, Menominee Casino - Bingo - Hotel , had well, a casino. At 24 years old, this was my first visit and a lot of fun. The hotel gave us $10 vouchers and I chipped in another ten and sat myself down at the quarter slots. I didn't do as well as my mom, who just about paid for the trip with her winnings, but I did all right for a first-timer.

I'm home now and unpacked, laundry nearly done and dinner being delivered. I came home to a mailbox full of bills, but I'm not sure I have the stamina to deal with them tonight. One of them is due tomorrow so it's gonna be late even if I write the check tonight. One more day won't hurt.

And Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you all to the moon and back.
Even though we all ride the short bus. Or maybe because of it.

6:24 PM | allison | # |

Woohoo! I'm going home today! I'm working until about noonish and then I'll go treat myself to lunch and haul my ass over to the airport. I don't know how I'm going to concentrate on work until then. Maybe I'll just fake it.

Or I could take quizzes like this all morning...

	You are Kermit! Though you're technically the star, you're pretty mellow and don't mind letting others share the spotlight. You are also something of a dreamer.
*Take the What Muppet Are You?* Quiz!**

8:13 AM | allison | # |

Bugger. The bloody insomnia is back. I thought I had ridden this cycle out, but it turns out I was wrong. Wouldn't be the first time. But seeing as how I'm awake, I thought I'd make mention of a freakin' awesome book I just finished. I went to the Book Stop after work today, 'cause during a meeting, the lady presenting made mention of a book, The Cluetrain Manifesto: The End of Business as Usual, and new VP man said it was pretty good and even borrowed her copy to read us the intro to it. So, I'm thinkin' maybe this is a book I need to pick up. And I did.

But that's not the book I'm gonna rave about. Not yet, anyway, I haven't cracked the cover. Give a girl some time.

Anyway, I picked up a few other books while I was there, thinkin' I'll need some airplane reading for my flight home on Thursday, and some car reading for our trek up to Wisconsin. Long story short (too late, I know), I picked up The Broke Diaries as well. And I read the whole thing. Tonight. In just a few hours. It's an easy read, but f*cking hilarious. I was literally laughing out loud while I was laying on the couch reading and nearly knocked my drink off the edge of the tub when I was reading in my bubble bath a short time later. I wish I had the guts to pull some of the shit she did, and I'm going to do my part to tell everyone I know I about the book.

But first, I'm gonna give this book to my cousin who's in her second year of college now. I'd tell her to go buy it, but she's a broke chick as well.

12:14 AM | allison | # |

Ok. So nevermind about that blogger stuff. I was just kidding.

8:22 AM | allison | # |

Can I just tell everyone again how much I love NPR! Despite all the bad news they report, which they really can't help 'cause they're only telling me what's happening, they always seem to find some gem that makes me laugh. I'm sure all the folks at the stoplights this morning thought I was nuts - I was listening to a piece by Jacob Slichter, the drummer for SemiSonic, about the making of a video. I'll post a link when I can find one on the NPR homepage.

And can anyone tell me what's up with blogger? None of my template changes have happened and the posts I deleted are still around. Bugger.

8:21 AM | allison | # |

I think I'm getting an ear infection. It's probably my body's way of saying, "Get some sleep, Allison!" I'm hoping that will be accomplished this weekend. I'm going to stop at Blockbuster on the way home, pick up some groceries and not talk to anyone at all this weekend.

Except my mom, cause I call her every Saturday to let her know I'm still alive.

Oh, and I want one of everthing from here.

9:14 AM | allison | # |

Tonight will be the fifth night I haven't slept.

Night-time is a lonely time. It's the time when everything I said or didn't say, did or didn't do comes back to me. It's the time when I'm forced to think about who I am and what I want to be.

I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted to be. But what I did, how I hurt him and hurt me - that's not who I thought I was - that's not who I want to be.

Was I wrong about who I thought I am? Is there still hope for the person I want to be?

Closure. I need closure. But how do you end something that never really began?

10:48 PM | allison | # |

God Bless Dennis Miller. Recently heard on his show, Dennis Miller Live, regarding the judges who declared the Pledge of Allegience unconstitutional, "So, Your Honor, the Pledge is unconstitutional because it says 'Under God'. Guess that means when you were sworn in with your hand on a Bible, and at the end of your oath repeated, 'So Help Me God' that makes your job unconstitutional, therefore you have no job, which means your ruling doesn't mean squat."

12:49 PM | allison | # |

Super-busy days up ahead. And how much do I love it? Well, I'm not really sure, but it's a really big amount. I got to talk to the fam last night, which always makes me feel good, and I was already in a good mood (workout went well), so then it was even better. I've still gotta double-check, but I think Carl is going to come down here on his birthday weekend which is awesome. He came down last year on his birthday too and we were going to get matching tattoos. I didn't get one, but I'm hoping I won't chicken out this year. This is what we chose:

Jen thinks that it would be cool to have a mini-photo shoot while he's here too. Her sister could come over from Austin and then we'd have all the cousins together again. She's thinks it's kinda funny that the oldest cousin is also the shortest and the youngest cousin is the tallest. I think it would just be fun to have our picture taken. And especially now since I'm only four pounds away from my half-way mark. Woohoo! Four more pounds and I will officially be 30 pounds lighter that I was at the beginning of the year.

8:34 AM | allison | # |

Morning, everyone! Still trying to get the comments to work. I put them in Saturdayish and haven't had the energy to fool with them since I figured out how to include them. I have the energy now, despite my lack of sleep, but not really the time. My To-Do pile is growing larger by the minute. Eh. It'll get done. Sometime. I hope.

Oh. And Happy Birthday, Mr. Hanks.

8:45 AM | allison | # |

Phew. Ok. Finally a few moments to myself. A quick re-cap of the weekend before I forget.

Thursday: No work! Hooray for Federal holidays! Spent the day with Carol, Scott and Jen. Didn't do much except sit around and be lazy. And play with the new puppy.

Friday: Took today as PTO. Brooke brought over a microwave, so I can now heat and reheat like every other normal person on the planet. Lunch with Carol and Jen at the Olive Garden and a wild shopping spree with Carol at IKEA. Fun was had by all.

Saturday: Ultra-lazy. Slept until after 1 PM. Steadily downhill after that. Saturday night totally sucked for reasons I don't want to rehash. Kept sucking until about 4:30 Sunday morning when there was nothing else to clean and I finally fell asleep from exhaustion.

Sunday: Ultra-sucky day. Still feeling horrible from events of Saturday night. Insomnia. Again. But nothing left to clean.

Monday: Woke up stuck in ultra-sucky mood. Stomach still doing flip-flops and headache from hell. The day has gotten better since I got to work, because I'm so busy I don't have time to think about anything else. But I'm dreading five o'clock when I have to go home and be by myself again.

4:11 PM | allison | # |

It's already freakin' 2:45 and I haven't even begun to look in my "To-Do" box for today.

I love my job!

2:45 PM | allison | # |

I've done something I'm ashamed of. I don't even want to write it down or say it outloud, I feel so horrible.

I was dishonest and denied another human being happiness and did so willingly and knowingly for a long time.

I cannot take back what's been done and an apology isn't enough. Some day, I hope that I can be forgiven.

2:25 AM | allison | # |

I need to stop watching Bridget Jones' Diary.

Not only does it rekindle my crush on

every time I see it, but it also reminds me that I'm following in Bridgit's footsteps towards spinsterhood.

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces."
Amen, sister. Preach on.

And you know, Colin Firth isn't so bad either.

4:04 PM | allison | # |

Good morning! And it is just that. No more wedding reception worries and a four-day weekend ahead of me. Sweet!

I was a little late to work this morning - only about five minutes or so - but I just couldn't drag my sorry butt out of bed this morning, even with both my alarms going off. But I did hear a little fun piece on NPR on the way in today. Barbecue Boot Camp: Basic Training in 'Beer-Can' Chicken and Other Grilling Essentials. It's one of my favorite commentators, Alex Chadwick - he almost always brings a smile to my face and didn't fail me this morning.

My favorite part of his description of this 'beer-can chicken' was, "inserting the can into the southbound end of a northbound chicken." Good thing the bird doesn't really feel anything, huh?

8:24 AM | allison | # |

Thanks for listening, mom. You always make me feel better, even when all I do is complain.

I love you.

9:19 PM | allison | # |

I so didn't need to get this in my email:

From: Leanna
To: XXXXXXXX@aol.com; Me
Subject: (no subject)

so.....why aren't you going ms. bryan?

Is it time to go home yet?

1:03 PM | allison | # |

Ok, everyone who I've told about this wedding reception drama probably thinks I'm a bit loopy. Is it just drama to me? or is this really a problem? I really, really don't want to go, for no other reason than it's inconvenient and spending money I'd rather keep in my savings account. I thought I was happy for Mel and James, but now I'm not so sure. Is there some sort of deep-seated jealoulsy inside me? Am I using the lack of invititation as an excuse not to go? Growl.

This is really eating at me more than it should. Maybe I just feel guilty that I don't want to go. There it is, I've said it. I don't want to go. I love them all bunches, and we had so much fun in college. But we're done with that stage of our lives, or at least I am. I've kept in touch with Caryn, and Leanna thru Caryn, and to some extent Melissa, but that's it. Mel usually calls me, I rarely call her. Does that mean I'm ready for that friendship to be over? Do I tell her that? I guess I feel the same way about this situation as I do with the girls I went to high school with. I've kept in touch with the ones I wanted to, the ones that are important to me. The rest, I wish them the best in life, but I really don't want to keep in touch or need to know what they're doing. Is that callous or shallow? I don't think so. I've just moved on. I'm ready for the next part of life.

The past is just that - the past. I can't go back, even if I wanted to. All I can do is take what I've learned and move ahead to the future.

Reasons to go:
1. Get to see Mel (and James).
2. Also get to see Lynn, Leanna and Caryn (maybe). I haven't seen Lynn, Leanna or Mel since Christmas 2000. I don't see Caryn a lot, but I talk to her often.

Reasons not to go:
1. Cost of
a) plane ticket.
b) over-night accomodations.
c) gift.
2. Only people I'll know at the reception are listed above.
3. Barely one month's notice with invitation (but I've known about it since at least the beginning of the year).
4. Don't want to be the only one who doesn't go.

So. I guess that's it then. I'm not going to go. I'll check the mail for my invite tonight and RSVP my decline.

11:26 AM | allison | # |

Freakmama! So, this was waiting for me in my email this morning when I arrived at work:

From: XXXXXXX@aol.com
To: XXXXXXXX@aol.com; Me
Subject: (no subject)

Girls --
Did either of you receive invitations to the James/Melissa reception? I did today.
Caryn

Bugger! I guess now I have to check my mail to see if I got one too. Does this mean I have to go now?

8:11 AM | allison | # |

It's just about time to go home, but I saw this quote today in my planner and thought it was kinda cool.

He has spent his life best who has enjoyed it most. -- Samuel Butler

I wonder what made Sam say that?

4:56 PM | allison | # |

Oh, and I forgot something. It turns out I don't have to the bitch about not wanting to go to Mel's wedding in August. Caryn is thinking that since none of us have actually been "invited" to the reception, i.e. received an invite via email or otherwise, she can't expect us to show up with less than a month's notice. So there.

Caryn and I are going to be bitches together.

Hmm..I'm not sure that came out quite right.

1:17 PM | allison | # |

Ok, folks. Lots of new stuff in NeverNeverLand. First, I've finally figured out my FTP settings and stuff, so I'll be able to post pics and other fun stuff. Second, I've added a link to my Yahoo! Messenger so you can chat me up if you feel like it. Word of Warning: I'm at work from 8-5 on weekdays, so nothing crude and icky please.

Save that for the weekends.

1:12 PM | allison | # |