2nd Star to the Right :: Neverland. I think I want to live there.

Given the chance, I wouldn't go back to work at all. Have you checked your lottery numbers today?

11:04 AM | allison | # |

I have compiled another list of happy thoughts. I really do have a lot to be thankful for this holiday season.

- Flying home today!
- Donny Osmond on the radio when I woke up this morning. Well, this one isn't really a happy thought, but it did make me giggle.
- Free jeans from Pants of Chance.
- Flying home today!
- JC-free days at work.
- Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade
- Watching football with daddy.
- Cute new sunglasses.
- Flying home today!
- New battery in my favorite watch, so it's no longer 2:00 all the time.
- Having written and addressed nearly all of the cute non-denominational holiday cards.
- Pictures of daddy falling out of the raft during our trip this summer making their way into the family's holiday newsletter.

9:15 AM | allison | # |

I feel an eerie calm this morning. I think it's because I know this is the beginning of the end. My time here will end soon (hopefully) and I've accepted it and am looking forward to moving on. Looking back, most of my posts for the last three months are all about how much I dislike my boss and my job. I need to clarify that a bit and then I'm going to move on. First, I dislike my boss for two main reasons: 1.) He expects respect simply because he is the boss, and he has not worked to earn the position or respect; 2.) He is highly un-qualified and maintains his position only because his head is so far up new VP man's ass, I'm not sure it will ever come out. Second, it isn't my job I dislike - in fact, I love my job. I'm good at what I do, I get to work with an incredible group of highly creative individuals and I get to do it on an almost daily basis. Lastly, I find myself working in the definition of a hostile work environment. I'm reprimanded in front of co-workers; given little or no direction on projects out of my area of expertise and berrated for having to ask questions about "things I should know how to do;" and not spoken to for days on end by my immediate supervisor.

Having said all that, I'm going to move on. I know now I can't change my boss or new VP man and it's become a huge waste of my time trying to. Instead, I'm going to focus on something I can change, namely my working environment. My job hunt has been in full swing for nearly three weeks now. I've sent out dozens of resumes, heard back postitively from a few and will focus on those for now. I'm hoping to hear back from a few more after the Thanksgiving holiday so I can schedule interviews while I'm home for Christmas.

9:39 AM | allison | # |

The job hunt has slowed a bit. I've signed up with multiple online services that send me e-mail when they find a job that meets my specifications. The problem is, I know there are probably hundreds, if not thousands, of other folks out there who signed up with the same services and are getting the same emails I am. I've asked family and friends in the Chicago area to keep their eyes and ears open for me, but I'm still without any solid leads.

I've given myself plenty of time to find a new job - my lease ends in March, and my goal is to find a new job by my birthday in February. But I'm so un-happy here, I just want it to end. Things were a little better this week, but I know it won't last long. I think JC is just puckering up to new VP man's ass. I had a sit-down with JC on Wednesday, explaining how much our department needs some firm process policies in place before we implode. He agreed to most of what I said and I told him I'd like to schedule a meeting after the Thanksgiving holiday when the group could sit down and discuss it. That night I got to thinking about how he's taken other ideas and proposals I've worked up and pitched them to the Powers That Be as his own, so I scheduled time with new VP man yesterday morning and told him about my proposal. He agreed and thought it was a good idea to schedule the meeting.

Yesterday, JC called me into his office and told me that he had discussed my proposal with new VP man and that he was going to make some changes to it and then he would schedule the meeting for us all to get together, except that he was going to leave some folks out of the meeting. Which was one of the points I made in my proposal - he was cutting folks out of meetings that really shouldn't be cut out. He shrugged and changed the subject. SOP for him.

I think I'm going to try and beat him to the punch and set a meeting myself. He keeps usurping the small amount of authority I do have, so my only option seems to fbe to force the issue. He can kiss my cute white ass.

And now, no more negativity. From The Hiding Place: "Happiness isn't something that comes from our surroundings. It's something we make inside ourselves." Amen, sister. Preach on.

9:09 AM | allison | # |

You know what? I've got a lot of things to be happy about.

- Freshly planted pansies in yellow and periwinkle in my window boxes.
- An amazingly beautiful hibiscus that found its way into my shopping cart on Sunday afternoon.
- Multiple showings of Aliens on AMC.
- Warm smell of Christmas cookies baking in the oven (I know it's early, but I couldn't help myself).
- Green Bay receving an over-due ass-kicking. And yes, daddy, I know their record is still better than my boys.
- Free body creme in the mail from Bath & Body Works.
- My November horoscope from Astrology Zone.
- Calvin & Hobbes comics in my e-mail every morning.
- Tart green apples and chunky peanut butter for dinner.
- That 70's Show and Law & Order in syndication.

9:16 AM | allison | # |

So, Jason told me on Wednesday that he was going to go ahead and push the Traffic position thing through HR - a feat I've been trying to get him to do for nearly three months now. He had time to think about what I had said to him Tuesday: about the Buffalo Grove job with a client company. And now, because I've told him I was looking into other employment opportunities, he's pushing the position I want here to go through.

I don't want his stupid ass job because I told him I was looking for another one. I want the job because it will help the company, because he thinks I'm qualified and because I'll do a good job. I don't want to be the person who gets a promotion because she threatened to leave. That's bad form.

1:47 PM | allison | # |

Yet another reason why I read my horoscope every day:

Go ahead and add your circus act to the three-ring masterpiece that is happening all around you, dear Aquarius. It would be a shame to deprive the world of your talents simply because you are too intimidated by the other acts. Remember that your thoughts and feelings are just important as the next person's, even though you may not be as loud and flamboyant when it comes to expressing them. Don't hold back today.

The stars don't lie to me, man.

8:06 AM | allison | # |

I seem to do my best thinking in the shower, which is a pretty odd place if you think about it. What if I have super-great idea? There's no place to write it down. But all this is besides my point today - instead of singing in the shower today, movie lines were running through my head. Specifically, lines from Empire Records were running through my head. I find them quite fitting as I work up the courage to tell my boss I'm looking around for a new job.

"In the immortal words of The Doors, the time to hesitate is through." and

"Damn the man! Save the empire!"

And just in case you're confused, the empire in this case would be me.

8:43 AM | allison | # |

A little ironic, don't you think? A little too ironic, I really do think...

So, I found this fantastic job in Buffalo Grove - it's perfect - I'm totally qualified, it's close to home, but not too close and it's a great company. So I'm all ready to send my cover letter and resume and what do I discover? The e-mail address is that of a recruiter for the company I currently work for.

That means the company that is posting this awesome job is a client company of the one I work for now. Which means if I apply, the recruiter is going to call me and ask me if I've told my boss that I'm looking for another job. Which I haven't. Because I want to leave him hanging. But if I don't tell him, the recruiter will. CYA policy.

My parental units said I should just tell JC I'm looking for a new job because leaving him hanging would a) only make me feel good for a little while before I began to feel guilty and b) it isn't really my style.

I hate it when they're right.

2:13 PM | allison | # |

Does she dare post her resume online for all the world to see?

Yes, she does indeed.

1:27 PM | allison | # |

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the gods my soul to keep
And if I should die before I wake
I pray that Green Bay gets their collective asses kicked tonight so I can call my dad tomorrow and tease him.

Amen.

3:50 PM | allison | # |

You know what I realized on the way to work this morning? I'm not scared anymore. When this new job search thing began, I almost hoped that I wouldn't find a new job because it meant moving (hopefully) and starting all over in a new place, but now, I can't wait for that to happen. I'm looking forward to that flip-floppy feeling in my stomach when I go for an interview and the frantic search for a new place to live. I'm looking forward to meeting new people and getting used to a new routine. I'm looking forward to the packing up of all the stuff I've collected and putting it into boxes so I can open them up again in my new digs.

I am so ready for this to happen.

And did I mention? One of the women in my office is suing new VP man, under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act - discrimination against women. Amen, sister. Preach on!

9:07 AM | allison | # |

In order to waste away the beautiful Friday afternoon and re-fresh ourselves creatively, Sara and I have instituted a haiku afternoon.

Do you haiku?

The topic: your space
Post it outside of my cube
Using small magnets

I pulled out my magnetic poetry and we went to town. Some of my favorites had to use paper and the magnets so it looks a bit like a ransom note. My entry is:

No gigantacube.
Windows are nice to look at.
I am very cold.

And my favorite is the haiku that inspired the contest:

Cube is to office
As a trailer is to home.
I'm white trash.

Excellent work, Sara.

4:23 PM | allison | # |