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Friday, January 31 We had meatloaf. Bloody, freakin' meatloaf! The company that made $4.4 billion dollars in 2001 and we had meatloaf for lunch. And guess who I had the honor of trying to make small talk with for an hour? Yup. Uh huh. I'd go home, except I'm kinda hoping the folks from Chicago will call me and tell me I have a wonderful new job waiting for me and how soon can I be there? That would so make my weekend. 2:55 PM | allison | # | At our most recent company meeting, the CEO announced that for the rest of January and throughout February and March, he and the other senior management members would be inviting corporate employees from the Kingwood campus for lunch two and three times a week. About a week ago, I received an email invitation for my lunch: In an effort to facilitate communication with Sr. Management & introduce you to our new dining facility, please plan to attend this lunch meeting (open forum). I must say, that while I applaud their efforts to mingle with the worker bees, I'm not really looking forward to the lunch. It doesn't seem sincere and I consider my lunch hour my lunch hour and I want to spend it out of the office. Granted, this is only one hour out of the entire month, but turning down the invitation isn't really an option. I don't really want to sit and makes small talk with the Powers That Be and have soup and fruit for lunch. I've ranted before about how extravagent the top floor is. I just feel like a bit of a hypocrite, making nice with the big boys, ooohing and aahhing at their corner offices and having a light lunch in the executive dining room. Especially when I can't see out a window unless I get up out of my cube and walk into someone else's office, can't get decent radio reception and have to bargain with the devil himself in order to get some basic supplies. Maybe I'll feel better after we've eaten. 11:47 AM | allison | # | Thursday, January 30 Oh, how the mighty have fallen. I watched a full episode of American Idol last night and swore at the phone when it rang before I could see which group got cut. But I didn't answer the phone. I let it ring so I could see who got to stay for the next round. Say it ain't so, Joe. I thought if I watched Law & Order and the nightly news, then I might be able to redeem myself. That cancels out my watching American Idol, right? Right? 8:59 AM | allison | # | Wednesday, January 29 Do you remember that Seinfeld episode where George built that nap area under his desk, with the built-in alarm clock shelf and a place to keep his blanket? Yeah. I could go for one of those right about now. 1:51 PM | allison | # | I have the hiccups. I've had them since about 5:30 this morning. They. Won't. Go. Away. 9:56 AM | allison | # | Tuesday, January 28 All right, y'all. I'm going to talk to my boss and my boss' boss this morning. And then I have an interview for a job in Chicago. I was up before my alarm, worked out harder than usual, had a healthy breakfast and got to work 30 minutes earlier than anyone else. I'm not nervous (read: scared shitless) or anything. If you can spare a few, think happy thoughts for me today. 8:08 AM | allison | # | Monday, January 27 First and foremost, my boss and my boss' boss totally suck ass. I just thought you should know that. Ahem. Like most other red-blooded Americans, I was watching the Super Bowl last night. As I mentioned before, I was watching purely for commercials reasons. I love the Super Bowl ads and at a whopping $2 million for :30, I must say, there were some pretty funny ones. I'm not even going to attempt a recap, but I must give props to Reebok for the Terry Tate ad and Anheuser-Busch, the single largest monetary contributor. --Single best moment during the Super Bowl: any camera shot of the Buc's hottie, John Lynch. Yum. --Single worst moment during the Super Bowl: buring my little finger with the iron. Note to self: put the iron down when John Lynch is on tv. 1:59 PM | allison | # | Friday, January 24 I received an email this morning from my journalist friend. While doing some research, she came across this link, which I cannot help but share. It's probably not super interesting to most people, but it contains the findings of the University SuperMarket vs. Supervisor of Liquor Control in Columbia, MO, where we all went to school. The University SuperMarket is exactly what it sounds like - a super-tiny supermarket on the corner of campus, with over-priced groceries and clerks that didn't check ID. That whole checking ID thing seemed to be a problem. Turns out one of the guys on our floor was busted there. We all refer to this individual as Chicken Heart for reasons that will not be disclosed here; however, let it be said that the mere mention of his name conjures up all sorts of unpleasant images and fits of giggling. Long story short (or is too late for that?), the University SuperMarket got busted for selling alcohol to a minor. I must agree with my friend when she says, "My favorite line is 'Bradley Mindrup went to the store and selected a bottle of wine, which was intoxicating liquor.' " I can say with the utmost certainty that was probably the point. Especially since I believe Chicken Heart was most intoxicated when he got that nickname. 1:35 PM | allison | # | Thursday, January 23 I was going to write all about the SuperBowl but then I realized, I don't really care. The only reason I'll even have it on is to watch the commercials. Who cares about the actual game? I mean besides the 300+ lb. players? Really, all I wanted was an excuse to post this. They start 'em early, don't they? 8:56 AM | allison | # | Wednesday, January 22 Were it not attached firmly to my face, I think my nose would fall off due to the constant running and um...blowing I've been doing lately. It kind of reminds of when I lived at home, I used to tease my parents about a nasal spray they used, informing them I would never, under any circumstances, stick anything up my nose. As far as I was concerned, my nose works like a one-way street - traffic moves in only one direction. But then, I developed allergies. Every spring, eastern Texas, a.k.a. the Piney Woods is covered in a fine yellow powder from the large pine trees during pollenation. The fine covering in this yellow powder hasn't happened yet this year, but I'm beginning to think my sinuses have already decided to mount an attack against the rest of my body. Once a year, I make a trip to my physician's office where she diagnoses me with sinusitis, gives me big blue and white pills and a bottle of the dreaded nose spray. I was very hesitant about the nasal spray and I told my doctor about how things only move in one direction in my nose. She laughed at me and told me the spray would help me breathe. Breathe! Breathe through my nose! A feat I hadn't been able to do in weeks - surely this small little bottle couldn't with the little spray nozzle at the top couldn't do that. There was nothing that could clear up the blockade that was in my nose. It took me two days to work up the courage to use that nasal spray and I must say, the results were miraculous. Within hours I could breathe easily through my nose and the big blue and white pills and begun to clear away what goop had gathered in my sinuses. While I'm still adverse to the idea of sticking anything up my nose, I'd be very tempted to pay a pretty penny for that nasal spray right now. You know, sort of a pre-emptive strike or something. 8:38 AM | allison | # | Tuesday, January 21 Let's just say the weekend was good. I got to see my friend, consume massive amounts of ice cream, spend the day on The Strand, consume massive amounts of ice cream, see two movies, consume massive amounts of ice cream and have breakfast on my balcony. This is how all mini-holidays should be. 9:34 AM | allison | # | Friday, January 17 I'll be 25 one month from today. Ever since I turned eighteen, impending birthdays have caused me a bit of anxiety. I know I'm not old yet. I consider 80 old, so I've got a really long way to go. But birthdays always cause me to stop and take a look at my life and the list of goals I created for myself when I was 17. Some of the things on my list are simple, others will take a lot of work to attain. I've added things to the list over the years - I keep it folded up in a small pocket in my wallet. I recently transferred the list to a new piece of paper because the old one was falling apart. Every year I pull out this list and look at what I have accomplished and what I still have to do. When I see how few things I've crossed out, I begin to think that my time for finishing them all is running out. Especially on days like today when I'm wearing a shirt to work that I think I wore to bed earlier this week. I wonder if I'll ever pull myself together enough to accomplish them all. 9:12 AM | allison | # | Thursday, January 16 This morning while I was driving to work I saw a woman who looked just like my mom's mother. I nearly hit the car in front of me when I did a double-take, the resemblance was so striking. Seeing that woman got me to thinking about my grandparents and how I felt about them when I was younger and how I feel about them now. Both my mom's and dad's parents have passed and I'm left wishing I had known them better, or could have a little more time with them now that I'm older and want to know more about them as people. I'm just now learning things I wish I had known before; I want to ask questions about how they felt and where they went and why they made the choices they made. My dad's mother had studied to be a ballerina and performed in New York City. His father was the impetus behind the Peoria Public Library System. My mom's father fought in the World War and had to bail out of his plane after being shot down. My grandmother, her mother, used the silk from his parachute for her wedding gown. Her father, my great-grandfather, worked for the mob during the depression to help keep his family in food and clothing. And I know this is just scraping the surface. I'm sure there are many, many more stories where these came from and I want to hear them all. I wish that I had been more patient, more willing to listen when I was younger. I want to know the stories now - I want to know what choices my family before me has made and what it felt like and what it did to their future. I'm at a crucial changing point in my life right now. I'm about to turn 25, I'm going to quit my job and move away from here. I feel like I'm throwing my future up into the air and I'm terrified. I feel like if I knew their stories, knew more about their lives, I would be less scared because I would know that others with the same blood and the same family had made major changes and life decisions and it all turned out all right. 11:48 AM | allison | # | Wednesday, January 15 I'm feeling a bit nostalgic this morning. I'm not sure why, but it could have something to do with the fact that I get to see one of my closest friends this weekend. She's only been in my life for seven years, but sometimes it seems like forever. We met when we both at a changing point in our lives - eighteen and on our own for the first time. The bonds you make then are special and important. I remember the first day I met my friend. I arrived two days after everyone else because my family had other committments that wouldn't let us leave town until then. When my parents and brother helped me move in, I felt out of place. It seemed like everyone had already done that initial bonding, that instant karma that occurs when you're in a new place and are immediately drawn to people you think are like you. It was pretty quiet on my floor when we moved in and my folks got me settled fairly quickly. I remember watching them leave - I could see them from my third floor window. I watched as they pulled away and had Tom Petty's Learnin' To Fly playing on repeat. Don't laugh. It was sad. That evening, I got to meet my FIG for the first time. A FIG is a freshman interest group - we all had three of the same classes together, lived together and also worked together in a once-a-week class towards an end project. I remember being a little hesitent when mom pushed me to sign up for it, but I thought at least it would get me out of the all girls dorm. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I made. On some level, I still keep in touch with part of the group. My friend was a member of the FIG. She and Leanna came and knocked on my door that first night, rounding up all the FIG people to go to a special viewing of The Usual Suspects. I remember being a little afraid of her the first time we met. She was loud and bossy and from the heart of Chicago. She dressed like a hippie and was going to be a journalist. I was envious of Leanna. She was exotic and beautiful; confident and out-going. She had been in show choir in high school and seemed to have a real-world experience quality about her that I still envy. I was in love with both of them immediately. I met Lynn later that night as we gathered and then walked to the auditorium where the film was being shown. She was up front, walking with Jared - a skinny, attractive red-head from South Carolina that most of the girls in my FIG had a crush on at one time or another. Lynn was tall and skinny, blonde and blue-eyed. She was extremely spontaneous and would walk out of a kitchen with boiling pan of water if someone suggested they drive out to the country and go look at the stars. If I didn't love her so much, I'd be envious of her easy and care-free spirit. Her roommate, Melissa, and I bonded right away. We were both more quiet and reserved, intent on getting good grades and pleasing the folks around us. Again, love at first site. Within weeks, the five of us were inseperable. We ate meals together, stayed up late in each other's rooms or in the lounge down the hall. We talked about boys, the future, the present and the past. We helped each figure out who we were and who we wanted to be. We laughed a lot and we cried too. I felt closer to these girls, these women, than I had ever felt about anyone before in my life. I loved them all and would have done anything for any one of them. When our freshman year ended, we split up for the summer. Melissa and Leanna stayed in town to work and go to school. Lynn went back to Colorado and my friend and I headed back to Illinois. We all returned to the same floor in the same door the following fall. Things had changed but I don't think any of us were experienced enough or willing to admit it then. My friend and I were roommates. I remember crying that year more than I laughed, but I think I learned more about real friendship than I had the year before. By November, we had problems, but we stuck it out until May. Lynn and Melissa were roommates again. They seemed to have some problems as well, but there situation wasn't as volatile as my friend's and mine were. Leanna rushed and became a member of a sorority. It was gradual, but we grew apart. At the end of our second year, my friend and I decided the only way we could remain friends was not to live together. Leanna moved into her sorority. Lynn went back to Colorado and my friend went home to Illinois. Melissa and I moved into a duplex off campus with another girl from our floor. Our last two years, we saw less and less of each other, but still remained in touch. We all made new friends, got jobs and balanced school with a social life. Lynn spent a semester in Mexico and Melissa spent one in Europe and my friend spent one in Washington DC. We all graduated and moved. I'd like to be able to say that we are still as close as we once were, but that's unrealistic. There are fights and hurt feelings and geographical distance. But my friend is coming to see me and I can't wait. We're both more grown up, more independent, more of the people we thought we could be seven years ago. We've both moved far away from home and made new friends in our new lives. Our friendship keeps us talking, keeps us emailing, keeps us together enough that we still have some of that bond we had when we were young and scared and ready to take on the world. We're only a little bit older and wiser now and still young enough to think and believe that we can take on the world. I hope that never changes. 9:24 AM | allison | # | Tuesday, January 14 This internet thing is good stuff. When I was looking for the links for the books on amazon, below where it says this: Customers who bought this book also bought: and then it lists books with similar subjects, it said this: Customers who wear clothes also shop for: and the first item listed was Clean Underwear. Ok, so maybe it's not hilarious. But it is fairly amusing. 9:49 AM | allison | # | Yoga in the morning and in the afternoon. Something something something and all around the room. I'm trying something new this week. Well, not really new. I'm going to start keeping a food journal again, but not online. It was too much of a hassle to update, so I've got a little notebook instead that I can keep with me. I've also decided to change up my excecise regimen as well. I'm going to Taebo every other day and do yoga in the mornings and afternoons/evenings of the off days. You know, just in case you wanted to know. I'm really only writing this down so I can't tell myself later that I didn't really mean it. That it was only something I had thought about doing. I didn't post any gains this past week, but I didn't have any loss either. I lost 33 pounds in 2002, which is a lot. I can button shirts that wouldn't button before. I wear two sizes smaler pants. I can see the knuckles in my hands and some of the bones in my feet. I have one chin instead of two. I won a pair of jeans and ordered a size smaller than I usually wear and they fit! And I want that to continue. When I started this weight-loss thing, I did a lot of reading. I read this and this and this. I was a frequent visitor here and here and here. And out of everything, one thing became clear. I couldn't do this just to look good - that would only be a side benefit. I needed to do this to be healthy. We've got all the fun diseases and maladies in my family: high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, cancer. I know I can't ensure I'm going to avoid them, but I can at least give it my best shot. 9:40 AM | allison | # | Monday, January 13 So, not that I'm counting or anything, but only 49 more working days (at the very most) that I have to deal with JC. wheeeeee! And speaking of numbers.... - Days until I hear from the recruiter about the possibility of transfering to Chicago: approximately 25 - Times my brother exclaimed "sweet!" after I told him I was moving back to Chicago by the end of March: 3 - Days until I see my best good friend that I haven't seen since October 2001: 5 - Pounds lost last week: 0 - Pounds gained last week: 0 (just maintainin', baby) - Episodes of Law & Order in syndication tonight on TNT: 3 - Miles said friend wants to run while she is here: 10 - Words spoken to me by JC so far today: 0 (and it's almost freakin' lunch time!) - Calories consumed so far today: 220 (diet coke and a cinnamon-raisen bagel) - Hang-ups when returning voice-mail messages: 1 - Hours I'll probably spend in front of the television tonight: 5 (I need some help, I know. But L&O and Oz are on tonight!) - Number of times I've flipped off JC after he walked by: 3 10:56 AM | allison | # | Saturday, January 11 The futon is complete. And it looks good too. Damm good. It's Miller time. 7:23 PM | allison | # | Friday, January 10 I was blessed with the presence (read: annoyed by) of JC this morning. He decided I needed to hear about all the boring meetings he attended yesterday while he practiced his golf swing in my cube. None of the meetings had any impact or correlation to any of the projects I am currently working on. None of them sounded like they had any impact or correlation to any of the projects he is currently working on. And I think he's going to slice to the right the next time he's on the course. I haven't done one of these in a while...Friday Five 1. Where are you right now? Ugh, at work. I'd rather be home in bed, watching my Back to the Future trilogy again. 2. What time is it? 9:15ish A.M. CST 3. What are you wearing? Black slacks, an Ann Taylor lime green button down (which, BTW, I didn't used to be able to button) and my favorite frog socks. 4. Any people or animals around you? Describe them. No animals unless you count the stuffed armadillo, FoFo, I have sitting on the shelf in my cube. I can't see anyone else because of the high walls of my cube, but I can hear some of them. By the voices, I'm guessing it's JC, new VP man and EVP man, discussing their golf games, the number of leads we have coming in, the fun at management camp and when the new website will go live. In that order. 5. What are your plans for the weekend? Finishing the futon, which has turned out not quite as well as expected, but not too bad for my first attempt at this sort of project. And then I need to rid the house of all the wood dust I created during the project. And hopefully get rid of the french vanilla varnish smell as well. 9:32 AM | allison | # | Wednesday, January 8 I can't believe it - I nearly forgot. Happy Birthday, dude. 1:09 PM | allison | # | I just got an email with the words intestinal fortitude in it. I'm not quite sure how to reply. 11:06 AM | allison | # | For the past two days, I've been spending my evenings sanding, staining and then sanding again my futon. It was one of my first major purchases when I moved to Texas, part of the "I'monmyownIcanbuywhateverIwantIdon'tcarehowmuchdebtI'llbein"phase. In reality, it was decently priced and I got them to deliver it to me without a charge because I told them I was new to the area and hadn't realized that my apartment is outside their delivery area. And the teary eyes helped a little too, I'm sure. I put it together myself, which took me nearly an entire weekend. Those of you unfamilar with futons don't realize that there are three main pieces: two arms and a large middle piece that looks something like the box springs of a bed & mattress set, but folds in the middle. Putting it together alone was an adventure - It was a like a sheet that is too small for the mattress. Each time I set up one end, it fell apart when I moved to put the other end together. I finally ended up putting one end together and butted that end up against the living room wall while I put the other end together. I was quite proud of myself and have enjoyed it ever since. And then I decided, after two years, that I it needed to be stained. This whole time it's been the original raw wood. And surprisingly, it's still in fairly good shape. It wasn't stained or super-dirty, just a little rough around some of the edge. My staining technique leaves a lot to be desired and my arms felt like they were going to fall off after the sanding I did last night, but I'm fairly pleased with the end result. The only huge problem I've encountered with this project is the smell. I've had to keep doors and windows open all the time, including at night to help air out the place. I've got candles burning the entire time I'm at home and through the night, which has helped a little. Now, instead of varnish, my apartment smells like french vanilla varnish. 8:53 AM | allison | # | Tuesday, January 7 All right y'all, send happy thoughts my way. I'm going to ask JC to sign my Application to Transfer slip some time today. I found a job posting for one of our district offices in Chicago! When I was home for the holidays, a lot of things got put into perspective for me. I want to be there on a regular basis. Not living in Sandwich, but in the area. I want to be able to go home for dinner to celebrate a special occasion or to meet mom for lunch and shopping. I want that so badly. I want to be able to hear my brother play and help daddy with the shows at the Opera House. Staying here, none of that can happen. Mom and dad have offered me a place to stay while I hunt for another job. It's hard enough to find a new job now, but it's even harder from 900 miles away. My pride has taken a huge hit accepting their offer, but I'm pretty sure it's the right thing to do. My lease ends on March 31. Taking them up on their offer would be a blessing - I could move home (temporarily) while I find a new permanent job and a place to live. I know I'll work while I look for a job, whether it be as a substitute teacher or serving up popcorn at the local theater. I'll do anything at this point as long as I'm not reporting to JC. Last night when I was talking to mom, she said something that really struck me. It was the first thing that popped into my head this morning - she said that even if I get what I had wanted, which was the Traffic Manager position, I'd still be working for him. And while the job would keep me very busy and really utilize a lot of my skills, I'd still probably be very unhappy because I'd be reporting to him. One more thing before I get back to work...and this is just purely for my own pleasure. When referring to JC in the future, I shall always think: If he's here, who's watching hell? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* UPDATE: It is done. I got the signature, made a copy and dropped it in the mail. Thanks for all the happy thoughts, y'all. Once my hands stop shaking, I'll go have some lunch. 9:49 AM | allison | # | Monday, January 6 I found a wonderful quote that I have to share. It sooo describes my wonderful family. I know why families were created, with all their imperfections. They humanize you. They are made to make you forget yourself occasionally, so that the beautiful balance of life is not destroyed. --Anais Nin 4:47 PM | allison | # | The first thought that popped into my head this morning when I saw JC was, If he's here, who's watching hell? Carl, you're gonna get me into a lot of trouble with this one. 8:03 AM | allison | # | Thursday, January 2 Damnit. My car is making funny noises. Doesn't she know I have Christmas credit cards payments? 2:33 PM | allison | # | Ok, so feeling all uber-productive yesterday afternoon, I re-arranged all the furniture in my living room. After having moved everything but my entertainment center, I realized that the coaxial cable from the wall to the center would not reach all the way to the spot I had planned for it to reside. So now it's sitting at a funny angle kind of in the middle of the living room. I watched The West Wing and Law & Order sitting about two feet away from the screen. It kind of made my head hurt. But I'm not sure if that's because I was sitting so close or because the episodes were re-runs. 12:05 PM | allison | # | |
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