2nd Star to the Right :: Neverland. I think I want to live there.

It's opening night. I haven't heard about the new job yet. My eyes are red and bloodshot from allergies and lack of sleep. Piles of laundry. Pictures need to be developed. It's rainy and gray. I don't think I had dinner last night. The house is dusty. The are dead flowers in the vase. Rent is due. My fingers are cold.

Oohhh.

A Cream Soda DumDum Lollipop.

10:38 AM | allison | # |

Dude. The FTP thing has been fixed. Here are the pictures that were originally supposed to appear.

A short recap:

Springtime

Big-ass drinks

Cubs game

Stuck car

Itchy tattoo

The End.

9:18 PM | allison | # |

There are some things I've been meaning to say...

Note: I was going to say those things mostly with pictures but I'm having FTP problems. And by problems, I mean my FTP blows and won't let me log and share the pictures with you. So, I've had to resort to describing the pictures to you.

First, thank you for all the kind wishes and crossed fingers and happy thoughts about my interview. I've made it to the third round of interviews, the next of which is tomorrow afternoon. So, please keep the happy thoughts coming. I'll let you know what happens.

There are very few things that make me feel as good as spending the afternoon in the city on a beautiful afternoon.
Insert picture of Chicago skyline at dusk, taken from my friend's car on our way home after having had a few drinks with the fabulous Mr. Kelly at a bar called Jay's during work hours. And the bar's name is funny if you know Mr. Kelly, otherwise, probably not so much.

Except maybe super big-ass containers for the Nectar of the Gods. Also known as Diet Coke.
Insert picture of a giant 64 ounce insulated beverage container from Speedway. It's big and has a huge number 64 on the sides. And it came with a giant straw and I totally need both hands to pick it up because its so freaking heavy.
Seriously. I don't fill this up with Diet Coke every day. I usually do the H 2 O thing.

Or maybe skipping out on work to catch a Cubs game with friends.
Insert picture of the cute pitcher. Or maybe of Sammy Sosa's bum. Yeah, baby, we were THAT close.
Ok. So we didn't "skip out." Unless you count getting the tickets in advance and asking for PTO "skipping out."
And for the record, I am not a Chicago Cubs fan. I am a Chicago White Sox fan. The tickets, which were in the tenth row behind the third base dugout, were free.
And really people, Wrigley Field is one of the best places in the country to watch a ball game on a pleasant spring afternoon. Even if OLD STYLE is like, $8 for a little plastic cup with lots of foam.

Friends that get their car stuck between two other cars after the Cubs game with great seats and $8 Old Style.
Insert picture of my friend's car stuck between two other cars at this shady little parking lot about 8 miles from the stadium. And by between two other cars, I mean she had about two inches between her front bumper and the rear bumper of the car in front of her and maybe three inches between her rear bumper and the front bumper of the car in front of her. And you know what else? She totally shimmied her way out. She rocks that much. And by shady, I don't think the guy has as many teeth as I do fingers.

And friends that have new, itchy tattoos.
Insert picture of my other friend putting chapstick on her new tattoo. Dude, she forgot the lotion. Give her break. Also, it's probably better that I didn't really post this picture. She'd probably have mean things to say if I did.

9:51 AM | allison | # |

I've got an interview in 30 mintues.

Wish me luck.

2:04 PM | allison | # |

I think I found a solution to the Jesus forwards with this:

An open letter to my Jesus forward friend.

KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF.

Sincerely,
allison

Do you think its too much?

8:50 AM | allison | # |

She has got to be stopped. My friend who sends me Jesus forwards just sent me FOUR within the last five minutes.

Did You Know?!? 9:27 AM
Prayer Request 9:28 AM
Living Bible 9:31 AM
Living Corinithians 5:7 9:32 AM

Jesus fucking Christ.

Let me be a heathen if I want to be a heathen!

Maybe I am going to hell.

Maybe, I'm already there.

9:44 AM | allison | # |

After the Great Move of 2004, I went wireless. Well, not completely, but mostly. My cell phone is my well, everything phone. It's my home phone and my car phone and my personal calls at work phone.

And you know what my favorite part of using the cell phone for my everything phone is? Turning it off.

And mom, I'm sorry you called three times before I finally called you back. I know I didn't call all week. I was in a bit of a funk. In fact, I still am. But I'm working my way out of it. Slowly. Very slowly.

So, be warned that I might turn it off again and not answer for a few more days.

I promise I'll be ok.

3:32 PM | allison | # |

Question: Is there a better way to start off the day than with a metallic purple short bus?! And I answer: Um, no.

It was METALLIC. And PURPLE. And a SHORT BUS.
I only wish I had gotten a picture.

Seriously, people. A metallic purple short bus? That's got good karma written all over it.

8:29 AM | allison | # |

It has come to my attention (thank you)that I missed my anniversary. My TWO YEAR anniversary of blogging.

I had no idea it would last this long.

Yadda, yadda, yadda. Thanks for the memories and all that.

8:40 AM | allison | # |

"Sometimes I feel like a racehorse whose gate hasn't opened." - Rob Morrow as Richard Goodwin in Quiz Show.

I hear that.

10:07 AM | allison | # |

My company's HR department is stalking me. I've got direct deposit, but I never signed up for the ePayStub thingy. I like getting the check in my hot, little hands every other Friday. Very Luddite of me, I know. But I don't care.

It started with a phone call.

Then a flier attached to my paystub.

Well, you know what corporate HR department? BUGGER OFF.

10:45 AM | allison | # |

I'm tired of writing about the Evil Empire. Here are some highlights of the weekend escapades:

Friday afternoon: My issue has been escalated again. I finally get to speak with a supervisor who is working to have someone at my home on Saturday morning.

Friday evening: The supervisor doesn't work hard enough and no one is available to come out until Sunday. I cancel my cable.

Friday night: My brother is pissed. (And btw, he's a little scary when he's angry.) He calls the Evil Empire on my behalf and escalates my issue again. A supervisor is going to call me Saturday morning to let me know if they can fit me in.

Saturday morning: Fit me in? Yeah right. How about Sunday morning instead?

Sunday morning: The technician shows up early. He replaces the digital box. I have digital cable again. My brother and I go to lunch and a movie. Which was really, really good. You should go see it too.

Sunday afternoon: We return home. No cable. But I did make a fleece blanket for my brother. It has Cookie Monster on it.

Sunday night: I am now at SEVEN escalations. I ask the Evil Empire's Customer Service Representative Pam how many escalations it takes to have someone actually fix the problem. She doesn't know. Surprised?

Monday afternoon: I get a call from the technician dispatcher. A cable guy was at my house at another appointment I didn't set. Fun stuff, right? Actual appointment is now set for Saturday morning.

Ok. You're all up to speed. I'll keep you posted.

9:04 AM | allison | # |