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Wednesday, March 22 Just two days left until I’m free. The celebration will commence shortly after 5:00 p.m. at Ballydoyle should anyone want to join us. And the Great Move of 2006 is well under way, despite my brother’s lack of help or interest in the entire process. Rent storage space. Change address for magazines: Change address: Cingular, End service: Most of the easy stuff is done. Now I just need to finish packing. 3:24 PM | allison | # | Monday, March 20 Today marks the beginning of the end. I have five days left of actual pay, full-benefits, and paid time off accruing work. At this point, I’m still excited and haven’t really begun to second guess myself. Let’s not get crazy – we all know that will happen. But for now, I’m enjoying the frenzy my leaving is creating and the wide open nothingness ahead of me. In addition to the job-quitting, I’m also moving. Every move is a bit stressful, but this one seems to be a little bit bigger deal than the others. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve saved a lot of important details to the last minute, or if it’s because I’m moving back home. Probably a combination of both. I’m a details kind of girl but can’t seem to get my ass into gear enough to get this move stuff going. I don’t have a truck or storage space, haven’t lined up any help moving, and don’t have a storage place to put all my crap while I spend quality time with my family. It’ll get done I’m sure. Well, I hope it will anyway. 8:00 AM | allison | # | Tuesday, March 14 Last Thursday, I woke up more hung-over than I’ve been in a while, only to discover that my car’s Check Engine Soon light came on. That little light freaks. Me Out. So then there was an unexpected day off work, a rental car, and a trip to the mechanic. Friday I gave notice, received some nice emails and drove home for the weekend. Saturday, I got my car back, returned the rental and went on errands with my mom. I also attended a party, saw old friends and got kissed by the boy I had a crush on throughout most of my childhood. Sunday I stayed in bed until nearly 3:00 with the boy (no funny business, sadly) and then had dinner with my best good friend. Yesterday, she left for Europe. Today I was late to work and took a nap in my car during lunch, despite the outdoor temperature hovering around 35 degrees. Tonight I’m supposed to drive back home to attend the monthly meeting for my community theatre group. I’m dreading any kind of confrontation (like last month) and would like to not attend at all. Oh, and I’m supposed to move in about two weeks. And the only thing I’ve accomplished on my to-do list is to call my doctor about updating my prescriptions. I’m distracted to say the least. Mostly about getting kissed by the boy, but I think that’s another entry entirely. 2:54 PM | allison | # | Friday, March 10 Today is the big day, y'all. And I'm nauseous, paranoid and totally second guessing myself. But I slipped the letter under her door this morning and there is no going back now. Ms. Manager Lady 8:00 AM | allison | # | Friday, March 3 I was wrong about being too dehydrated to cry anymore. Some days I wish I had the courage to leave everything and move to some place that has a beach and a little sea-side place where I could wait tables. Some place where no one knows me or where I came from. And I can start all over knowing what I know. I'd not regret the past and look forward to the future instead of being afraid of it.
11:50 PM | allison | # | Thursday, March 2 I didn’t get the job. The call came at about 2:30 yesterday afternoon. I took the news pretty well I think. I mean, I didn’t cry on the phone* and I even remembered to thank the recruiter and tell her I really enjoyed going through the process and please keep me in mind should another position open up. I’m upset. But I don’t really think it’s about not getting the job. I’m more upset about what not getting the job means. It means I’m going to leave here without somewhere else to go to, move out of my apartment, put my stuff in storage and go back to live in the room I grew up in. I’ll probably wait tables and tap into my 401(k) to pay my health insurance and bills. It kind of feels like it means I failed. I know. I know I haven’t failed. I’m making the choice to leave without another job to go to, and I understand that has certain repercussions. But I just can’t give up my new sanity and re-found happiness. Well, I could. But I’m not going to. Life is just to precious to waste here. What’s that saying about doors closing and windows opening? Right now that doesn’t mean much. At this point, I want to want deadbolt the door, lock the windows, and pull the blinds and the curtains. But I’ll probably be ready to see the world again in a couple days. * I did, however, cry in the bathroom**. ** And in the car on my way home last night***. *** And in bed last night**** after I put my book down. **** Now I’m so dehydrated I couldn’t cry if I wanted to. 9:30 PM | allison | # | |
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